


Lies & Slander

by hirschmania



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, my favorite part of the pacifist ending tbh, this was a prompt on my rp blog & i liked it so much i decided to post it here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 08:55:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6797485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hirschmania/pseuds/hirschmania
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>* hey frisk<br/>* it's torriiieellll<br/>* just baked 1000000 pies<br/>* do you want some? </p><p>In which Sans has some fun with Toriel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lies & Slander

This is, quite possibly, the most fun he’s had in a very long time.

Toriel’s paws were too big for her phone. So she’d asked Sans (very foolishly) to transcribe for her. And Sans, being the ultimate prankster that he is, decided to have some fun at his friend’s expense.

* hey frisk.  
* it’s torrrriiieelllllllll

He snickers as he’s typing.

* i just baked 1000000 pies.   
* do you want any?

Oh god. He can barely contain his laughter. She was probably going to catch him in act at this rate.

* remember to brush your teeth before crossing the street, frisk

A gasp sounds next to him just as he hits send. He looks up at the source, finding a very shocked Toriel for his troubles.

_**Busted.** _

“…uh. Heh. Hey, Toriel.”

She huffs, snatching her phone from his hands. She types out something to Frisk, her cheeks tinted a bright pink which he thinks is actually adorable.

Then she gets this look n her face. Sans raises a browride, blinking slowly.

“Hello,” she reads out as she types, “This is Sans. I love my brother very much.”

Oh no.

Sans tries to reach for the phone, but he’s too damn short. He can hear Alphys laughing behind him.

He can’t give up. Not like this. His reputation is being slandered!

He grabs her dress, pulling it down and causing her to stumble. He snatches the phone before she realizes it.

* help im being slandered

As soon as he sends it, the phone is taken away again. Dammit!

She immediately fires back. “This is Sans. Frisk, did you know I love to “get owned”?”

Oh no. That was not happening.

Sans, decicivly taking a blod, new approach, climbs up her dress and sits on her shoulders. “I also think Toriel is very good and–” she’s cut off when he snatches it, though she takes it from him moments later. She types something really quick to Frisk and that’s when the real fun starts.

They start wrestling for it.

Well, if you can call him sitting on her shoulders and using as much time as her can to try and slander her, only to have her take back the phone and delete it all “wrestling”. And, like and any good wrestling match, they have quite the audience.

“THAT’S IT, BROTHER! FIGHT WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!” Papyrus shouts, cheering him on, because of course he is.

“C’mon, Toriel!!!! Kick his ass!!” Undyne shouts, in favor of Toriel, because for some reason she always liked seeing get his ass kicked.

“Oh dear…” Asgore says, looking rather surprised.

And then, of course, there’s his (horrible, just completely utterly horrible) best friend who is laughing so hard she’s clutching her gut. He’d have to get back at her later.

Suddenly, Sans loses his balance and falls backwards, landing right on his coccyx.

“Oh dear,” Toriel says, blinking. “Sans, are you alright?”

He grunts. “Yeah, ‘m fine. I’ve been through worse.”

She chuckles. “Please, allow me to help you up.” she stick out a hand for him and he smiles.

“Thanks.” he says, taking her offer and getting back to his feet.

Things calm down a bit after that; they laugh about it for a while. They end up finding a cat video, which Toriel ends up sended a 300+ word text to Frisk about, instead of just sending them a link, which Sans finds very endearing. She also sends Frisk ASCII art of a snail. He asks her why, and all he get is “Snail are serious business, Sans,” to which he busts a gut laughing.

Undyne and Papyrus tell her they want to with her sometime. Toriel get very excited at that prospect, but Sans can feel the sweat beading on his skull already. He and Alphys exchange a look. Poor Asgore looks out of the loop. He kinda feels bad for him.

But, because he’s Sans Aster, and a giant asshole (even to sweet old ladies who like to tell puns) he tell her they’re great cooks.

“Wonderful!” she says, “We’ll have to make something once we get to the surface.” then she tells Frisk.

Sans can’t help but snicker.

Toriel snickers, “Hey Sans.”

“Yeah?”

“If we were a band, what would be called?”

“Well, obviously,” he says, “we’d be–”

“Dremurr and Femur!” they end up saying it at the same time, and they both cackle, Sans getting a light blue blush on his cheeks. He tells her she should send it to Frisk, to which she replies, “Oh, that’s a wonderful idea!” and does just that.

Papyrus makes a bet with Undyne that she can’t lift everybody here.

She could.

Sans ends up getting stuck for about 20 minutes, with another ten to get him untangled from Toriel’s fur. They’re laughing the entire time.

Alphys starts blurting out facts she says are about the surface, but really they’re just in anime she’s watched. He decides he’ll let her have her moment. They’d talk about it later. Toriel ends up correcting her, though, and wonders if Frisk told her anything funny as a prank.

Toriel texts Frisk about a few more things, like how she heard that using the computer too long is bad for your health.

After a while though, Toriel turns her phone off and prompts to talk with everyone after letting Frisk know. They have a pun off and Papyrus hates every second of it.

The entire time, Sans can’t stop smiling.


End file.
